I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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