How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize