The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
