GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
