so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
