Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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