3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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