So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
