so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
