North Korea, Best Korea!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
