I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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