haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
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I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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