Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
