Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize