remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
