Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
