I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
