you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
