Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
