Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
