I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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