Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
your room smells of hookers.
And success
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize