she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
