after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize