im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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