i just sent this text using only my big toe
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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