Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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