P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
