Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize