She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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