haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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