If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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