what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sext me about skeletons
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
