Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
