end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
