He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
