This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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