I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
