Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you had me at cake vodka
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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