i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
