dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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