The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
