I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize