K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
