I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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