Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
