matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
