i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize