Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When are your genitals available?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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