Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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