I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
