You're so nebulous sometimes
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
