My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
